September 24, 2026
A while ago I wrote “Meet 100 People.” This was a great initiative regarding the search for like-minded people in Houston, and I continue to stand by it. The motivations behind it have been rattling around in my head as I continue to meet people in New York City and beyond. One fact of the search for people is that getting off one’s phone is necessary but not enough; one must actively work for it. There are many alternate activities to using one’s phone which are equally solitary (most forms of media consumption are!), so one must act for one’s own benefit.
Furthermore, going to events is not enough. A few people enjoy citing the trashcan argument here, in which a trash can was placed in a classroom; upon its removal after multiple classes, the students mourned its loss. The conclusion is that presence is enough for someone’s absence to be felt. An issue here is that we have far lower standards for an inanimate object; it is also difficult to cause harm as an object. Thus, it is in a person’s best interest to become actively social in any environment: introducing oneself, starting conversations, volunteering for setup, bringing food. Forming positive relationships with the world around oneself requires active participation and not passivity.
This is at the heart of articles extolling the virtues of simply getting off one’s phone; in reality, any benefit of doing so requires additional effort which is not mentioned. This may be because putting in this effort is assumed by writers! However, the default state for many is one of passivity reinforced by repeated technology usage and lack of mental exercise. This phenomenon is clear in the Vibecamp Lemur discussion. That some will appear with wide eyes and no movement is a fact of any social scene; as VC is a more online (passive) group, the proportion of watchers will be higher as this is the default mode of being. In the same way, as any group is more online, this passivity appears.
Going to events in itself is fun, and there are many other reasons to attend events than simply socializing. Sometimes it is fun to learn for the sake of it, listen to jazz, and so on. But to fully reap the benefits of scouting around, one must participate in the world around them, even if the actions are small. If we are to get people offline, we must see from their perspective of the world shaped via technology thus far; that everyone realizes the obvious is not a given.