January 29, 2025
catalysts are characterized by decreasing the activation energy of chemical reactions by providing alternative routes to a product via numerous active sites. you ought to act as one.
at their most basic, chemical reactions require at least one other atom to react with; nothing changes in isolation. in the same way, social interaction will definitionally not happen solely in the walls of one’s own home. a prerequisite of catalysis is finding an active site. some examples:
note that all these spaces require some common interest; this provides an excuse to meet and must be shared. one failure point visible in others is when i ask, “what do you do in your free time?” – i am often told something along the lines of “not much; i read/watch youtube/engage in (consumptive activity).” there are no active sites for this sort of thing.
the best part of common sites is that they are frequented by people with the same sort of brains. something about the brewery i used to run at attracted engineers at a higher rate than the other one down the street. perhaps it was the free kombucha if you ran 2+ miles.
active sites are not enough; molecules must collide for reactions to occur. i.e., don’t be a wallflower – talk to people. give unsolicited advice (kindly). ask questions. issue compliments. nothing will happen if you don’t; otherwise one is a catalyst poison, not a reactant.
next is bonding. there is an initial activation energy to overcome for making plans; the best advice here is to be the one with the lower energy to overcome. ask people to coffee, go to a farmers market, host a dinner party, etc. it is painful to make the first move (on fear of rejection), but someone has to. platonic or otherwise most people crave social interaction and do not seek enough of it. find a fun activity between you and the other reactant and follow through.
stay in contact (this is where the chemical analogy becomes a bit strained). for people to exist in others’ lives requires communications and knowledge that they’re in your thoughts.
also, social networks ought to be webs instead of chains; there will be fewer points of failure. introduce your friends to each other, make webs which weft the fabric we wish to clothe our lives in.