February 18, 2024
it’s five in the morning and you’re standing over a white oblong surface with an indent in it with three metal poles jutting out the top the third letting water run through it filling the bathroom with noise and there’s a large flat plane of metal in front of you like a painting.
the painting does not have a frame as it would in a museum though there is no concept of museum in this room now only a slight twitch in the metal as the painting moves with you one small twitch in the corner of the painting’s eye drawing you to surprise and a gasp as the painting streaked with red white and yellow flowing with gravity whirls growing larger in its frame in fluid motion. flowing water bounces off the walls filling the room.
a plate of glass near the edge of the ceramic buzzes and shakes alerting you that you are not the only thing in here as it seizes and flashes in color with intermittent lines unfamiliar to you as it inches toward the edge of the white falling to the floor interrupting the water as a crack rings through the room and cedes to the water. the mirror twitches at this as if it came by surprise and the eventuality of gravity were never that certain.
it’s five in the morning and you do not know what’s on the other side of the mirror.
breathing fills the room as if it were the inside of a whale the air settling thick on the porcelain making each breath heavier as it occurs to you that aside from that it is five in the morning you have no information available as to any fact pertaining to your situation.
two cylinders extend down from your point of view red yellow and white flowing into triangular fractals upward from this is a softer part two other jointed appendages with longer pentagonal extensions. via gnosis something is missing aside from the physical sense it has not yet become apparent that any motion is possible.
it is five in the morning and there is a hole in your head and you do not know it and flowing out of it is one thousand stars in yellow red and green dropping viscous into the sink your body making a last ditch attempt to expel a foreign invader as the shape of what you are missing appears in the form of the concept of memory this revelation makes you into a separate object from the world at large no longer a part of the noise and the water and the painting next to you as your subconscious alerts this newfound separate part of the world that it should know what it is with the form of concepts and definitions filling your head and the flow to the sink thickening.
no name comes to mind nor recognition of the events which led to being in this location a fuzzy static blackness filling the space between your eyes and your name your age your friends your family bleeding into the sink swirling with the water down the drain in the dark into the municipal wastewater mixing with urine and excrement finding its way through retention tanks and biological treatment before flowing into a river that you once many years ago swam in though those too have fallen into the drain. the glass slab in the sink stops gyrating and turns black under the water now unsullied by the viscous fluid washed away.
it is five in the morning and the bleeding has stopped. the enormity of the situation that you should have extant memories appears to you grasping vainly at vapor that disappears on attention but this is a scream from your unconscious brain the newly born forefront deaf to these cries and ignoring them ruling that there is no fixing this in the short run as you collapse into the floor seeing if a hard restart will turn vapors to the material again. it is six in the morning and you are not sure if you can trust anything that you remember.